The Importance of (not) being (too) Earnest

Everyone has demons that arrive at unexpected times to inset into their placid lives cringing moments of embarrassment and regret. I am no exception. My demons come in the form of memories of unfortunate things I have said in the past, or of times that I have done something really stupid. In my case these demons appear regularly and in throngs, often jostling for position in my meagre consciousness, like an enthusiastic mob of shoppers when a store opens for the Black Friday sale.

And just when I manage to escape their clutching claws to find peace in a figurative forest glade, where the summer shade of the trees is just warm enough to ease my slide into figurative sleep, someone nudges me gently. Ever so politely they introduce me to a new demon. The thing I said or did that I didn't even remember.

Now some people would prefer to remain ignorant of their stupidity, simply shrugging off the stranger's nudges and going back to sleep, where sweet dreams of their nobility and heroism are unbroken by reality.

I, however, am too curious. If someone nudges me gently, I am taken in. I expect that what they have to say will be as gentle and as kindly as their nudge. It's not like they're running at me, yelling and making murderous insinuations with a knife, a heavy ITIL book, or some other deadly weapon. In those cases I prefer to remain ignorant, perhaps even distant.

No, I smile back at them and invite their comments. It is then that I am advised, ever so nicely, that something I said (with the best intention, of course) some years beforehand resulted in the type of turbulence that causes airlines to declare an emergency and cancel all flights.

I pause, not knowing whether I should try to keep smiling or immediately admit guilt and break down unconsolably. Instead I manage a look of what I hope reflects the concern I feel and, wanting to appraise the effect this particular demon will have on me in the coming weeks, ask for more details.

And so it happened that at the itSMF LIG meeting in Bloomington last night I was gently approached by a very kind gentleman, who had asked some interesting questions during the session. I recognized him, but couldn't remember the circumstances under which we had met.

Those precise circumstances, however, were indelibly imprinted on his life, and it was this remarkable impression on him that he wished to discuss with me. About four years ago, I was invited to a session at the company where he was working to provide my expert opinion about their ITSM strategy and some tactical issues they were having. As I recall this session consisted of me seated in front of a large group of people who fired various questions at me. I don't recall any of the faces due to the distinct impression that a spotlight (on their part) and a copious amount of sweat (on my part) were involved.

Apparently, though, my role had been cast (unknown to me, I must stress) as that of Arbitrator-in-Chief.  According to the gentle nudger every innocent and well-intentioned answer was duly transcribed and acted upon forthwith.  My opinion, it seems, carried so much weight that it was accorded the power of decision-making.  What seemed like innocent questions were actually a quest to settle long-standing political debates and petty disagreements alike.  The boxing gloves were left in the ring - I alone would declare the winners and losers.

Had I known of my dubious status in this group, I would no doubt have derived a certain feeling of power and importance - and I would have remembered every detail of the day.  However, the questions  they asked were similar to those asked in every organization that has embarked on a journey of ITSM.  My answers were fairly similar too, as I recall.

And so it was with some surprise that I sized up the demon that my gentle nudger began to unleash.  He had asked a question about defining services - mainly so that they could set up a service catalog.  The question was whether a service organization should define their services before speaking to the customer, or whether they should define their services based on what the customer tells them.

My answer, as I recall it, was that before you speak to your customer, you should first figure out what services you think you are providing.  Imagine walking into a restaurant and being told that there is no menu - you have to define your own meal.

CUSTOMER:  Well, what kind of food do you make?  Italian, Indian, Steaks, Seafood?  What do we have to choose from?
SERVER:  Whatever you like
CUSTOMER:  Surf and Turf with buffalo filet and lobster tail
SERVER:  Sorry we don't have that, what about a beef sirloin and a couple of shrimp?
CUSTOMER:  You guys really suck!
SERVER:  But it's the best sirloin and shrimp in the world.....

No matter how good the sirloin and shrimp are, they're never going to be as good as the customer's original request.  So what was the answer I should have provided?  There are two scenarios:

1. Services that we already provide.  They were defined by the customer at some point, but the documentation no longer exists, and the person who developed it can no longer remember the details (or is no longer employed by us).  Before you ask the customer about that service, you should have an idea of what it looks like from your side.  It doesn't have to be sophisticated, but you need to be able to talk sense to the customer about a service that you are supposedly already delivering.  Under no circumstances should you hand the customer a blank sheet of paper and ask them to tell you what service they would like.  Remember that the budget has already been spent on delivering what they are already getting - you can't create the impression that you're going to give them everything they have ever hoped for without paying anything.
2. New services.  Here, the customer has to define what they want.  Our job is to sit and make notes, nod encouragingly and get excited.  Then we go away and calculate what it will take to deliver the service and how much it will cost.  We also define a lower budget (lower performance) offering so that we can show willingness to work with the customer to get them as close as possible to their budget AND requirements

However:  VERY IMPORTANT NOTE (and one which seems to have been forgotten in the victory dance of the gentle nudger's opponents):  No matter where you begin defining a service, it HAS TO end up being defined from the customer's point of view.  No matter what the IT components look like, and how they relate to one another, the customer is interested in three things only:

• Will this service make my job easier?
• Will it help make us (me) successful?
• Will it help me to increase business performance at an optimal cost?

To my gentle nudger of last night:  I apologize sincerely for the turbulence I caused you by an answer that appeared to have supported your opponents.  As it happens you both have a valid point.  Your point was strategically correct.  Their point was tactically pragmatic.  I stand by my answer, qualified as above, but I didn't know the background to the question.

So what are the lessons I have learned from this?

Don't be too earnest about ITIL.  There is no ultimate truth or authority in IT Management, not even ITIL and its authors.  Readers should evaluate carefully what they read and judge how it will work for them (or not).  Authors should remain humble because they simply formalize what they have seen in the industry.  Also, don't be too earnest about being right - the truth is often a combination of different points of view.  Take time to listen, debate and distill the common sense.

I am grateful for this particular kind of demon, even if it does torture me a little.  It will help me to grow and learn, and to remember to remain humble, because I never know how my words will be used.  I choose not to remain ignorant, and I genuinely appreciate the gentle nudgers of my life.  I consider you my friends and fellow travelers.

Introduction

Today, I once again proved that I have no life, as I used some free time to muse about metrics and services and customers.  It struck me that most of my more profound thoughts were not publishable in any sane forum.  This is not in dispute.  Those who have sat on one of my classes, or "benefited" from my advice in a consulting project would most certainly agree.

However, sanity should never be the criterion by which we judge the quality of a thought.  How sane did the contemporaries of the Wright Brothers, Thomas Edison and Noah judge their ideas?  And so I mused, why not give the world the benefit of some of my more dubious thinking?

Unlike famous people, some of whom have employed scribes to record their every musing, much what I think will never be recorded for the benefit of others.  Some would greet that realization with enthusiasm.  I can hear their encouragement resounding through the domains of the internet.  "We have often thought" they say reassuringly "that silence is a trait that would suit your personality.  You should seek to grow in the area of keeping your opinion to yourself."

Much though I respect this heartfelt morale-boosting, I have never been one to depend to heavily on the crutches of my supporters.  "No," I mused "a thought that sounds dubious coming from me, might grow wings and be taken to new levels if it were stumbled across on the internet - that authoritative source of all wisdom."

And so begins a record of my musings about the world of Service Management.

Dear Reader, what I write here has no authority beyond that it comes from the darker recesses of my tortuous mind.  You are free to use it if it helps, but I make no promises as to its usefulness.  Read with extreme caution or with cheerful abandon.  The facts I put forth are almost certainly embroidered to within an inch of falsehood.  The discoveries I make have almost certainly been made long before me by people with a brain that actually functions as a brain should function. The feeling with which I write, though, is genuine.

My idle thoughts are designed to entertain myself and anyone who shares my wicked sense of humor.

Enjoy my blog!